Volume 3 Book 1 Part 2 of
Living in the Bonus Round

Jim & Steve singing. Posing with Rip Taylor.

[ Book 2-10 ] -- [ Pt 1 ] [ Pt 2 ] [ Pt 3 ] [ Pt 4 ] [ Pt 5 ]
[ Pt 6 ] [ Pt 7 ] [ Pt 8 ] [ Pt 9 ] [ Pt 10 ]

August 11-13, 2002.
The Big Night.
Opening night. I was standing in the wings, stage right, looking onto the massive Laguna Playhouse stage stretched in front of me. I could not see the audience. I could only see what was directly in front of me: a table (for Jimmy to sit at) and farther away, a piano. My ears were filled with the buzzing of people in the auditorium out front. The preshow music was Manhattan Transfer's first album. They were singing "Operator."

The butterflies in my stomach were turning into wasps as I waited for my cue to go on stage.

Was it time?

The preshow music faded. My stomach started to sizzle. But then another song started. Now they're singing "Java Jive." My stomach is erupting. I'm feeling dizzy. I start dancing. Anything to get the blood flowing.

Where's my mark? I can't see my mark. Nancy the stage manager has put a tiny little glow tape mark on the floor in the shape of an "x". I'm supposed to find it in the dark. I don't see it. So, I move to a different spot in the wings, closer to the audience. Where's the spot?

WHERE'S THE SPOT???

The music is fading again. Is this my cue? Or is that just the previous song ending? WHERE'S MY SPOT???????

I hear another song start. Reprieve. The spot. I see it. It's four feet in front of me. All the way across the expanse, in the other wings, I could see something moving, barely more than a dimly lit ghost. It was Jimmy. He was in place now. I waved. The ghost waved back.

Okay, calm down. All you have to do is walk to that spot and stop. This is easy. You've been rehearsing for four weeks. You know your opening line. What was it again? Oh right. Walk to the spot. Face upstage and wait for the recording of Bob Mandan as the "voice of God" to finish his first words, spin around, point your finger and... wait. What was my line???

The music is fading again. But this time in the MIDDLE of a song! That means it's REALLY time. I wave across to Jimmy who waves back again. My stomach leaps into my throat. My hands are dripping wet.

The stage assistant on headphones finds me and says, "Okay, go!"

The lights have gone totally dark. The audience is dead quiet.

I stumble in the dark focusing on my mark. I turn around to face upstage. I hear the sound effects of thunder, rain, wind. Then a voice, "In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth. And the earth was without form and void. And darkness was upon the face of the deep. Then the Big Voice said, Let there be light."

I feel a heat hit me. I'm in the spotlight! Everyone is behind me, looking at me. I turn. I point my finger to the sky and say, "And religion was born!"

The recording says, "Let there be a SPOTLIGHT!"

Suddenly, on the other side of the stage, Jimmy in his own pool of light, twirls around and says, "And show business was born!"

The audience erupts into laughter and applause!

I hold for the applause to end. Then I point to him and say, "RELIGION!"

He points back and says, "SHOW BUSINESS!"

We turn to the audience and say, "SAME THING!"


Jim Brochu, Steve Schalchlin in The Big Voice: God or Merman?
Laguna Playhouse. August 2002.
(All stage photos by Bev Sykes)

And the place comes apart with more laughter and applause. The lights flood the gigantic stage of the Laguna Playhouse and our new show has been born. Then we careen from story to song to story to song. I'm playing multiple characters. I'm Jimmy's grandmother, his best friend Joey Maresca. I'm his father, then his psychiatrist. Jimmy plays MY psychiatrist, my mother (sorry mom), a street preacher wearing a GOD HATES FAGS sign,


"Joey Maresca" and "little Jimmy" listening for The Big Voice
on a RCA VOM-500 record player in
The Big Voice: God or Merman?
Laguna Playhouse. August 2002.


Looking for The Big Voice in St. Peter's Square.
The Big Voice: God or Merman?
Laguna Playhouse. August 2002.


Three faces of Jimmy.
The Big Voice: God or Merman?
Laguna Playhouse. August 2002.

At the End of Act One, they finally meet.
The Big Voice: God or Merman?
Laguna Playhouse. August 2002.

The dialogue is coming easily. My voice is in great shape. I hear it so clearly on the monitors. We get laughter. We get more applause. Suddenly, act one is done!
Jimmy and I walk offstage and we're in each other's arms. We are jumping up and down and hugging, kissing...

"It works!!! It works!!!" And we start chattering. "They're laughing at everything. They're laughing at lines I didn't even know were funny!"

Anthony Barnao, the director, comes back to see us. "You guys, we added 13 minutes of laughter and applause to the running time." What?? Out of an hour onstage, 13 minutes of that time was laughter and applause from the audience. Now my heart is racing.


Gay Dracula. Steve in dressing room at Lex Theatre.
I pick up the script and start reading act two. Don't want to get cocky. Just want to remember the lines. Remember the songs with the lyric changes. And I know the audience is surprised. They probably thought this was a play about God. But it's not. It's a play about our lives. Act one tells the separate stories of the plotpoints the brought together a Catholic from Brooklyn and a Baptist from Texas.

Act two opens with me at the piano doing a sing-along. Someone from the audience quips out loud and cracks everyone up.


Steve laughs at audience member during "Fall From Grace."
The Big Voice: God or Merman?
Laguna Playhouse. August 2002.

Act two is more dramatic. My disease...


Screaming at Potsie.
The Big Voice: God or Merman?
Laguna Playhouse. August 2002.

...TLS, our fights, our break-up...


The drugs drive Steve out of his mind.

GOING BACK A DAY
The Monday night at Laguna was actually our second time to do this in front of people. On Sunday night, we arranged an impromptu private reading with an invited audience of people we didn't know except for a few exceptions (like Rip Taylor). We did it at the Lex under work lights. No sound system. No frills.

Jimmy sings "You Are a Stranger". On the phone to "Mama Carolyn"
with bad news that Steve is dying.
The Big Voice: God or Merman?
Laguna Playhouse. August 2002.
But it's one thing to do it in a tiny black box with 25 people and quite another to have a fully realized, produced performance in a major LORT theatre like the Laguna Playhouse. I was actually surprised at how quickly I lost my butterflies and just had a good time on stage.

Jim Brochu & Steve Schalchlin in
The Big Voice: God or Merman?
Laguna Playhouse. August 2002.
After the show, we all sang "Happy Birthday" to Jimmy whom we suprised with a big cake. And as a perfect ending to the night, Ken, Michael, Bev and I were driving home on the 405 and it was closed off completely, extending our trip home by and hour and a half.

More later.


The 405 was a parking lot.
[ Book 2-10 ] -- [ Pt 1 ] [ Pt 2 ] [ Pt 3 ] [ Pt 4 ] [ Pt 5 ]
[ Pt 6 ] [ Pt 7 ] [ Pt 8 ] [ Pt 9 ] [ Pt 10 ]

© 1996-2002 by Steve Schalchlin.
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