January 12 or something: The Little Girl in the Hospital
i read your email to the list (was forwarded to me)--the one in which you mentioned myself, dickie and shaun - and i'm really touched--because i went through almost the same feeling today... about the urgency of life.
i was at the children's hospital waiting to have my EKG and i saw this little girl--about ten years old and my mom started talking to her mom. turns out she had just been diagnosed with what i have--and i looked at her, and my heart just ached.
i kept saying to myself over and over "that was me--seven years ago, that scared, sick little girl was me" and i just wanted to tell her that more than anything in the world--she can't let this disease run her life.
i'm sure you feel that way--that the best advice you can give is to fight--even tho we aren't ever going to win the fight. there's not a worse feeling in the world than to see a little kid who's given up fighting... and it just made me think of how precious each moment REALLY is. it's cliched and whatnot--but so many people say it but don't understand it.
my mom told me today that when i was diagnosed my doctor perceived my case as so bad that she thought my entire colon would have to be removed by the time i was 18 if i ever wanted the chance to live past thirty. i turn 18 in a month... and my doctor has given me another 10-15 years before i even have to contemplate surgery. and the funny thing is that no one ever told me this--that i was actually THAT sick... and i kept wondering that maybe if they told me i wouldn't be so healthy now--that i would have given up and thought the fight was hopeless.
except no one told me that i was sick--and i've learned that no matter how hard the fight is... it's never hopeless.
wow--that was long, sorry... i just felt
like talking (gee, i've never heard someone
*cough*sparky*cough* say THAT before).